Thursday, August 16, 2007
Fallen Friends
This is a hard blog to write and I even questioned if I should or not. But, God has laid this on my heart and even as I type I'm not completely sure what all "THIS" that is on my heart includes. I guess I need to start with some history. You see about 1 1/2 to 2 months ago Clark got a message on myspace from an old college friend confirming some rummors that we had heard a few months ago. A former roommate of his from him early days at North Greenville (when I was still a baby in highschool, LOL) has been convicted of child molestation AND kidnapping and is serving 2 life sentences for the offences. This is a guy that I had met a handful of times. He was a youth minister and later a pastor. He had worked in a childrens home during college. He had a beautiful wife and two precious children. He had lived with Clark for 2 years and Clark concidered him a dear friend.
Complete shock is the only way to describe the news. As a mom, a teacher, and one who loves children my shock quickly changed to anger! I was angry and was happy he was locked up. I was also angry at myself for not having seen it! I was angry for the many young boys this man had hurt. I was angry at him for being in a ministry position and doing this. I was angry at myself for trusting him so much all these years. As I realized this last fact...I had trusted this man...my anger turned to hurt. I felt betrayed and hurt. Then those feelings quickly changed to worry for this man's wife and kids. If I felt hurt, how did his wife and kids feel? What were they dealing with? At this point I FINALLY went to prayer. Now, let me tell you...I did not go through these emotions as quickly a I am typing them. It took me a few days to get to this point. But, God finally got me passed myself and got me to praying. As I prayed for his wife (who I later found out is now ex-wife) and kids, God brought me to prayer for him and drove home a lesson I have known but often forget.
You see, every single human in the entire world is capable of every single sin! This may anger me and all, but you and I are just as capable of each and every sin. You see, as news continued to come out...it came out that he had been abused as well. He was dealing with his past. No, I am not saying that makes it right, but it shows that his background is not the same as mine. If I had a background like that, would I be more prone to falling like this? Again, I will say it, no sin is beyond any of us given the right situations. We are each and everyone a sinner. We all fall daily. Some sins have harsher penalties here in this world. And this man is going to have to live with those penalties. Does that mean that he is beyond God's grace...NO! Does that mean that he doesn't need as much prayer as everyone else involved...NO! He needs my prayers. It took me a long time to get to the point that I am crying out for him in prayer just like I am crying out for the victims, his family, and his church.
Well, if that wasn't enough shock for me, let's fast forward to yesterday! You see, I had only met him a handful of times. Clark was very close to him, but I wasn't. Well, yesterday we relived the news. You see another guy from college stood trial for the first time yesterday for the same accusations. Only this guy was one I spent a lot of time with. We will call him P. You see P was on a traveling drama team with me for a year. I traveled with him almost every weekend and often on Wednesday nights as well for a full year. We ate at least one meal if not 2 or 3 a day together at the school when we weren't traveling. We were also in plays together. I knew P very well! Don't get me wrong...we had our disagreements and even arguments. We drove each other crazy at times...but in the end, we were friends.
He is now married to a beautiful woman and has 2 precious children as well. He and his family were working in a childrens home for the past few years. They recently left the childrens home and moved back to their hometown. A little boy from his house was caught doing some inappropriate things recently and when questioned, P's name came up. So, he got called back and is being held in jail while the trial goes on. He has admitted to partial guilt. He admits that there was inappropriate talk and touch.
So, this time how do I react? Do I say shame, shame and turn my head. Do I get angry and spread more rummors? What do I do? This time, I went straight to prayer. You see, P also has a history of being abused and had been in counceling trying to deal with it. His wife knows that he regrets his actions and is standing beside him. His children are too young to understand what is going on. So, I pray. I pray for the victim, for the children's home, for P, for P's family, for the trial. If P did commit these crimes, then I believe he needs to serve time and pay for them. But, I don't feel God would have us turn our backs on him. Right now P needs prayers and encouragement. He needs to see God's love acted out through his Christian friends. He knows we don't agree or approve of what he has done. But, he doesn't know that we can forgive him and be there for him. God has called us to pray for him and encourage him.
So, I am constantly reminding myself that NO sin is beyond anyone! Each and everyone of us is perfectly capable of commiting any sin or any crime given the right circumstances! We are each humans...we are sinners. When one of us falls we need to remember that it could have just as easily been us! We need to get on our knees and pray rather than spreading ugly rummors without facts and saying mean and hateful things. Did Jesus turn his back on the woman at the well or the tax collector? No, he ate with them. He told them there was grace for them too. Did he throw a stone? No, he told them whoever of you is without sin, throw the first stone!
So, why write this blog? Because I have seen many people ready to throw the first stone. I'll admit it, I was ready to throw the first stone. But, I don't have the right and no one else that I know does either. So, please come with me and pray. Pray for the victims (the boys and their families), pray for the childrens home and church, pray for the wives (ex-wife), pray for the children of these men, but don't forget to pray for these two men as well. They are not beyond God's grace! They are our friends who have fallen.
Complete shock is the only way to describe the news. As a mom, a teacher, and one who loves children my shock quickly changed to anger! I was angry and was happy he was locked up. I was also angry at myself for not having seen it! I was angry for the many young boys this man had hurt. I was angry at him for being in a ministry position and doing this. I was angry at myself for trusting him so much all these years. As I realized this last fact...I had trusted this man...my anger turned to hurt. I felt betrayed and hurt. Then those feelings quickly changed to worry for this man's wife and kids. If I felt hurt, how did his wife and kids feel? What were they dealing with? At this point I FINALLY went to prayer. Now, let me tell you...I did not go through these emotions as quickly a I am typing them. It took me a few days to get to this point. But, God finally got me passed myself and got me to praying. As I prayed for his wife (who I later found out is now ex-wife) and kids, God brought me to prayer for him and drove home a lesson I have known but often forget.
You see, every single human in the entire world is capable of every single sin! This may anger me and all, but you and I are just as capable of each and every sin. You see, as news continued to come out...it came out that he had been abused as well. He was dealing with his past. No, I am not saying that makes it right, but it shows that his background is not the same as mine. If I had a background like that, would I be more prone to falling like this? Again, I will say it, no sin is beyond any of us given the right situations. We are each and everyone a sinner. We all fall daily. Some sins have harsher penalties here in this world. And this man is going to have to live with those penalties. Does that mean that he is beyond God's grace...NO! Does that mean that he doesn't need as much prayer as everyone else involved...NO! He needs my prayers. It took me a long time to get to the point that I am crying out for him in prayer just like I am crying out for the victims, his family, and his church.
Well, if that wasn't enough shock for me, let's fast forward to yesterday! You see, I had only met him a handful of times. Clark was very close to him, but I wasn't. Well, yesterday we relived the news. You see another guy from college stood trial for the first time yesterday for the same accusations. Only this guy was one I spent a lot of time with. We will call him P. You see P was on a traveling drama team with me for a year. I traveled with him almost every weekend and often on Wednesday nights as well for a full year. We ate at least one meal if not 2 or 3 a day together at the school when we weren't traveling. We were also in plays together. I knew P very well! Don't get me wrong...we had our disagreements and even arguments. We drove each other crazy at times...but in the end, we were friends.
He is now married to a beautiful woman and has 2 precious children as well. He and his family were working in a childrens home for the past few years. They recently left the childrens home and moved back to their hometown. A little boy from his house was caught doing some inappropriate things recently and when questioned, P's name came up. So, he got called back and is being held in jail while the trial goes on. He has admitted to partial guilt. He admits that there was inappropriate talk and touch.
So, this time how do I react? Do I say shame, shame and turn my head. Do I get angry and spread more rummors? What do I do? This time, I went straight to prayer. You see, P also has a history of being abused and had been in counceling trying to deal with it. His wife knows that he regrets his actions and is standing beside him. His children are too young to understand what is going on. So, I pray. I pray for the victim, for the children's home, for P, for P's family, for the trial. If P did commit these crimes, then I believe he needs to serve time and pay for them. But, I don't feel God would have us turn our backs on him. Right now P needs prayers and encouragement. He needs to see God's love acted out through his Christian friends. He knows we don't agree or approve of what he has done. But, he doesn't know that we can forgive him and be there for him. God has called us to pray for him and encourage him.
So, I am constantly reminding myself that NO sin is beyond anyone! Each and everyone of us is perfectly capable of commiting any sin or any crime given the right circumstances! We are each humans...we are sinners. When one of us falls we need to remember that it could have just as easily been us! We need to get on our knees and pray rather than spreading ugly rummors without facts and saying mean and hateful things. Did Jesus turn his back on the woman at the well or the tax collector? No, he ate with them. He told them there was grace for them too. Did he throw a stone? No, he told them whoever of you is without sin, throw the first stone!
So, why write this blog? Because I have seen many people ready to throw the first stone. I'll admit it, I was ready to throw the first stone. But, I don't have the right and no one else that I know does either. So, please come with me and pray. Pray for the victims (the boys and their families), pray for the childrens home and church, pray for the wives (ex-wife), pray for the children of these men, but don't forget to pray for these two men as well. They are not beyond God's grace! They are our friends who have fallen.
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