I know I posted on forgiveness a while back, but I just have to do it again! You see, I am going through Neil Andersons 7 Steps to Spiritual Freedom in Christ. Today, I came to the step of Forgiveness. WOW...I didn't realize how much I have to learn! I have always had the hardest time with forgiveness. No, I don't live in a state of bitterness! :-) But, I have a BAD habit of bringing up the past when things happen again. I am always surprised because I thought I had fogiven those past wrongs.

However, today I learned an important lessons. Forgiveness is NOT forgetting. The past wrongs are NOT going to just magically disappear from my memory. Satan is going to bring up those past wrongs and wave them in my face every time he can. However, forgivness is making a CHOICE to not hold them over those I have forgiven. I will still have to live with some of the hurt and the results from the hurts. BUT, I can choose how I react to those hurts. I can be angry and throw it back up or I can remind myself that it is in the past and forgiven and go about forgivness in the present.

It also doesn't mean that I have to continually put myself in the line of fire. I have always felt like forgiveness meant that I had to stay like a doormat to be walked all over. God expects me to love the person who has wronged me and forgive them. But if they continue to wrong me or hurt me, I can distance myself from them while loving and forgiving.

During the step, I was to write a list out of all those I had not completely forgiven. WOW...the list was longer than I every imagined it would be! I was shocked at all that I had pressed down inside myself. I prayed and told God that I was CHOOSING to forgive each of the people by name and listed the wrongs that I was forgiving them of. Then I forgave myself for holding on to all of these wrongs for so long. Finally I asked for forgiveness for my unforgiving spirit. This was not a short 2 minute prayer. This took over an hour and was not easy. It brought many tears! However, I have never felt so free! When we choose to hold our forgivness we are keeping ourselves bound. I truly feel free...it is a freedom I have not experienced in YEARS! What an amazing experience. I never want to hold my forgiveness from someone again!